A common theme that comes up in a lot of counselling sessions is the amount of negative self talk that is happening that is damaging to the persons wellbeing and self esteem. The things that you say to yourself have a big impact on how you feel about yourself and are incredibly powerful. Negative self talk is unkind, critical and upsetting. It can be “I am not worth it” or “my opinions don’t matter”. It can lead to low self esteem, spoiling friendships and increased anxiety. Whereas positive self talk is kind, supportive and affirming “I can do this” or “I am good enough”. Positive self talk boosts confidence, helps achieve goals, helps with success in sports and can assist in getting through challenges. Our repetitive thoughts and self talk form our beliefs and mindset. A person that thinks that their abilities and talents can’t be changed or improved has a fixed mindset. “I am not good at this” or “I am not creative” or “I will never be able to do this”. However a person that believes they can improve or develop their talents and abilities with effort, persistence and help from others has a growth mindset. “I can learn to do this”. Our brains have the power to learn and change but our thinking can hold us back. The growth mindset way of thinking is a better reflection of reality.
Linda James
College Counsellor