Written and Narrated by Jacob Knowles
“He wears a mask and his face grows to fit it.“ – George Orwell
Considered one of George Orwell’s minor pieces of writing, ‘Shooting an Elephant’ tells the story of his time as a police officer for the British during the occupation of Burma. The focus of the story is the inner conflict that Orwell experiences between him fulfilling his role and his first-hand witnessing of the oppression experienced by the Burmese people. The climax of the story sees Orwell respond to news of the destruction of a village caused by an unruly elephant. Upon arriving, he finds the elephant peacefully grazing in a rice paddy. The villagers have come to see whether he, the British policeman, has the ‘strength’ or ‘power’ (albeit it perceived over the colonized Burmese people) to actually take the life of the beast. It is here that Orwell has the revelation: If he fails, he will let down the guise of power, but most of all, he will create an opportunity for the people to laugh. Nothing terrifies him more than the prospect of humiliation by the Burmese crowd. So he shoots, again and again until the elephant falls to the ground, still alive but slowly dying. Consumed by his pain and guilt he leaves. His fear of a loss of identity forces him to do something that he knows he shouldn’t and doesn’t want to do. He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.
How does this relate to raising boys?
One concept that boys, and indeed men, often struggle to understand is what it means to be a man in our society. Posing this questions is one that I do frequently to students and the conversations it generates reveals that there is two key parts to this that are interesting to explore.
The first is in their understanding of masculinity.
Last week I was working with a group of 15-17 year old students. During the lesson, there was a break away from the focus topic that guided our conversation to how ‘men’ around the world would react in different circumstances and from different generations. This new conversation began with some stereotyping and on mass generalisations which were quickly discussed and overcome. The question was then posed: What does it mean to be a male in Australia in 2020?
Students within the group shared both their own beliefs as well as their beliefs between what they see as ‘societies’ beliefs. The top five responses for their personal beliefs were: fair, reliable, courageous, trustworthy and dependable. These were in stark contrast to the top five responses for what they believed society expected from an Australian male: Tough, Competitive, non-emotional, independent and self-confident. When comparing the two lists, it was obvious that there was conflict between the two lists. Personally, these students knew what they believed to be important however this did not align with how society was telling them to behave.
So what is the result of this conflict?
The conversation in this class then turned to what difficulties this conflict created for young men. Overwhelmingly, there was a sense of confusion around what it means to be a man. Their beliefs were tested daily from external factors and they had to make decisions each day, just like Orwell whether they should do or say things even when they knew it was wrong. The students made links with risk-taking behaviours that they had seen or participated in that demonstrated this to be true. They found it easier to be ‘followers’ rather than leaders and to go along with the crowd despite receiving a great deal of wellbeing education about the risks involved and potential consequences to decisions.
The second part worth exploring is what we as significant adults can do to support boys?
The following are a number of ideas and suggestions that can be used by significant adults in the lives of boys to help them better establish a positive sense of their own masculinity. These are by no means the only ideas and have been drawn from a variety of sources
- Develop authentic relationships with boys. Establish meaningful, open relationships in which boys don’t feel judged for their beliefs and interests. Ensure there is an open atmosphere that stimulates (but doesn’t force) conversation. Building strong relationships creates a sense of trust which ensures that they do not feel judged. This is also not a quick process and will have many ‘ups and downs’. It is important to be proactive and endure even when times are tough.
- Challenge the myth of the tough guy. While respecting that this mythology is important to boys, many experts also recommend that boys are exposed to other kinds of role models and values. Boys need to see others serving their communities in positive and different ways, it shows them that there many ways to be a productive members of society. The kind of man many boys want to be is the mythical tough guy and many boys try to emulate this behavior. It leads to boys posturing themselves in a way that says to the world, ‘I am not afraid.’ Boys need help to understand that the standards of manhood are not defined by street culture but are instead defined by a set of core values.
- Show boys it’s OK to feel your feelings. Boys begin to turn off their emotions in the process of transforming themselves into the kinds of hypothetical males they want to be. Part of our jobs as significant adults in their lives is to continue to talk with boys about how they feel and how we feel. We need to begin to share that men and women experience all emotions and that this has nothing to do with your masculinity.
- Demonstrate what it means to be a real man. If boys see through examples that significant figures in their lives care about and are actively engaged with their families and communities, that they live by their own standards of masculinity, they will begin to see that men are not defined by society’s rules, but by the kinds of people we are inside.
- Support boys who don’t fit in. The rules of masculinity are tough on boys who simply don’t share traditional male-interests or fit the traditional mold. We need to support these boys, acknowledge and value their interests without criticism, and discuss their fear that they won’t fit in. These boys specifically need help for them to feel secure in their identity and place in the world.
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