Written and Narrated by Jacob Knowles
Last week I found myself having one of those days. I had a lot of things to get done, classes to prepare resources for, marking to get done and professional reading to catch up on. So I did what most people do in these moments… turned to social media for an escape.
As I was scrolling through my newsfeed, I came across an image shared by a group called The Contented Child – a child wellbeing consultancy organisation based in the United Kingdom. The title of the image read Why Kids Bite. As parents of a very nearly three year old, my wife and I are no strangers to that conversation when we collect our daughter from Daycare: “Now she is fine, but she was bitten by another child today” or worse, “I’m sure it’s a one-off, but she bit someone today.” Yes I can admit it, our little angel has indeed gone through a biting stage during the early months of daycare.
The image from the Contented Child listed the following as some of the more common reason that kids bite:
- Biting is exciting
- They’re still learning to communicate
- They have poor impulse control and can’t stop themselves
- It’s their way of asking for help or attention
- It starts a powerful chain reaction
- It feels good, especially when teething
- They’re emotionally overwhelmed or overstimulated
- They need help protecting their space
What resonated with me when considering my role as a teacher is how easily the word ‘bite’ could be replaced with many other behaviours displayed by young people in the school setting. Why do kids swear? They’re still learning to communicate and it sets off a powerful chain reaction. Why do kids make poor/dangerous decisions? It’s exciting and makes them feel good. Why do kids fight with each other? They have poor impulse control and they have become emotionally overwhelmed.
Reflecting further, I considered some of the more serious incidences I have had to deal with involving young people and the language used above gave me a timely reminder about kids in general:
- They are still learning – about themselves and about others
- They lack the skills and understanding of how to process information (situational) quickly and respond in considered and safe ways
- Their actions are aimed to gain attention or reaction
- Situations tend to get out of control far quicker than they are able to be thought about
- Their feeling of ‘safety’ (physical, social and emotional) drives much of their behavior
These need to be at the forefront of our minds when dealing with young people, and act as our guide when responding to their needs. Without sounding to clichéd, our young people need us to “keep our heads when all about us others are losing theirs”. We should keep Kipling in mind when undertaking the crucial role of raising children because we are what they need. Whether they are the toddlers at daycare, or maturing young people in our school, each is filled with the great hope and even greater potential.
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